parenting | Ain't Complicated

Unsung Heroine

I don’t know the words to this song; I’ll just make them up as I go along. The tune will be up to someone else.

Yesterday was our niece’s bridal shower.

Though Ruby had no formal tasks or responsibilities for the planning and execution thereof, she was very involved in the preparations.

(I’m glad we didn’t have to experience all the blown gaskets and stripped gears had she not been.)

Decorating the night before. There she was.

Doing the cinnamon rolls. There she was.

Rounding up stuff before the launch. There she was.

Cleaning up afterward. There she was.

This, that, the other, something else — she helped.

Tired? Sure.

Meals to fix otherwise? Sure.

A household to keep running? Sure.

A second Christmas family meal and afternoon to host two days before? Sure.

She gives and gives and gives. Because she’s Mom.

Not for the gratefulness. Not for the acclaim. Not for the power. Not for the reciprocating good deed. But because she’s Mom.

Because Moms put their families first. (Or should.)

No wonder she was glad to have so major a project accomplished and finished.

Three cheers aren’t enough, nor three cheerers.

Nevertheless, listen to this single cheer from this single cheerer: WooHoo!!!

“Let her own works praise her in the gates.”

That’s how the Biblical book of Proverbs ends, speaking of the virtuous woman. Look it up for yourself in your own Bible. It’s right there in Proverbs 31:31.

My Child

(in our kitchen — over the sink — September 26, 2009 — 10:51 pm)

O Lord my God, shed the light of Your love on my child. Keep him safe from all illness and all injury…. I do not ask that he be wealthy, powerful or famous. Rather I ask that he be poor in spirit, humble in action, and devout in worship. Dear Lord, smile upon him.
— Johann Starck

“Humble yourselves therefore under the mighty hand of God, that he may exalt you in due time: Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you” (1 Peter 5:6,7).

Faked Cover Girls

The women in the pictures don’t even look like that.
—Norman Jameson

That quote is preceded by this short paragraph:

Air brush artists create more beautiful cover girls than all the diets, shampoos, make up, hair coloring and gyms in America. Yet, our daughters are emotionally bombarded, bullied and belittled by bold, bare images that bellow, “This is how you must look.”

So what do the cover girls show me? Something less than real. And what do those pictures of women announce? The same thing. Gals (and guys), remember that!

Disclaimer: I haven’t read the book in question. I haven’t read any books by Vicky Courtney. So I am in no way endorsing it or her, nor am I suggesting you buy or even read the book. But if you must purchase it, here’s a link that should generate a bit of profit for me: Five Conversations You Must Have with Your Daughter

On the other hand, maybe this book from Rod & Staff Publishers would interest you: Dear Princess.

HT: Thanks to Chas, prolific commenter at WorldMagBlog, for calling my attention to the above quotes!

Children and Parents

Here are three statements by John Coblentz:

In the confused values and hectic schedule of this day,
children need relationship with their parents more than ever.

The fundamental law of relationships:
We need to spend enjoyable time together.

We cannot build relationship with our children
without spending time with them.

Source: May/June 2009 Deeper Life Ministries Newsletter (reprinted from June 1999 Newsletter)

Fathers and Children

We’re almost a week past Father’s Day in the USA.

My heart aches for the children whose dads treat them unjustly. I have observed that far too often, even in Christian homes. Shame!

So here are two tips for dads:

Nurture your children; don’t provoke them.

Don’t exasperate your children or they’ll lose heart.

Do any of the following flaws (or sins) describe how my children experience (or just perceive) me?

too proud to apologize
too busy to give positive attention
too upset to listen to reason
too suspicious to imagine good
too demanding to be generous
too selfish to share
too hypocritical to live by the same standard
too stubborn to change
too blind to avoid favoritism
too wounded to offer healing
too negative to recognize good
too carnal to model the Heavenly Father
too inconsistent to be just
too unpredictable to be dependable
too angry to see clearly
too vengeful to forgive
too unpleasant to be cheerful
too tough to be kind
too rigid to be flexible
too insecure to back down
too “right” to value a different view
too bossy to serve
too self-centered to do something another’s way
too mature to play
too tense to relax

If you think your child is too young to catch on to these things, don’t kid yourself!

And even if your child hasn’t caught on yet, your Heavenly Father has! And He will make you pay for being unjust to your children, especially the little ones.

Oh, those two tips with which I started?

They’re actually commands…from God:

“And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord” (Ephesians 6:4).

“Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged” (Colossians 3:21).

Fathers, how we treat our children influences their perception of the Heavenly Father. Check this out:

“Like as a father…his children, so the LORD…” (Psalm 103:13).

OK, dads, I offer a question to help guide you in your day-to-day interaction with your children:

How can I show
the Heavenly Father’s heart
to my children?

Giving Advice

“I don’t have any good reason to tell…” so-and-so this-and-that, observed the counselor-to-be.

“How about ‘Honour thy father and thy mother’?” thought the other, who should have been the counselor’s counselor.

I wonder what kind of advice-giver I have been over the years.

And what kind I will be from here on out.

Consecrating a Child to God

That’s the title of our Sunday School lesson this morning.

It’s about Samson before he was born or even conceived. So it’s really about his parents, and his mother in particular.

She was supposed to restrict her diet because of her yet-unconceived child’s separation to God. (Hers may have been her own body, but that didn’t trump the “tissue mass” soon to be within her!)

This lesson made my mind jump ahead to Samson in later life. He saw a girl not of his people that he wanted for his wife. He disregarded their appeals to select a wife from among their people. He told his folks to get her for him because she pleased him well.

He despised his Nazariteness. He despised his heritage. Did he also despise his parents?

And what were they supposed to do? (I used to look down on them for going along with his demands.)

And did one or both of them treat their parents that way so now they were reaping what they had sown?

Questions with no answers available to us.

Samson — a child from God and for God.

Samson — a vision trampled, a mission botched, a commission abandoned.

Samson — redeemed in the end?

I don’t know that either.