grammar

Feds must stop writing gibberish under new law

One of my first thoughts upon reading that headline: “Yeah, right.”

Reflecting current family realities, another thought wasn’t long in coming: “Where do I apply?”

My thoughts aside, here’s some of what Calvin Woodward had to write for the AP:

The federal government is rolling out a new official language of sorts: plain English.

That’s right: Pursuant to regulations promulgated thereunder and commencing in accordance with a statute signed herein by President Barack Obama, the government shall be precluded from writing the pompous gibberish heretofore evidenced, to the extent practicable.

That sentence contains 11 new language no-nos.

Obama signed the Plain Writing Act last fall after decades of effort by a cadre of passionate grammarians in the civil service to jettison the jargon.

It takes full effect in October, when federal agencies must start writing plainly in all new or substantially revised documents produced for the public.

The government will still be allowed to write nonsensically to itself.

Now that is a funny line. And telling, too. But never mind. Read it all